Nature Vs. Nurture: The Chicken and the Egg

Summer, over at Mom is Teaching, posted on a topic that I really got into. Her post stemmed from a discussion on wether boys are inherently different from girls, and if their education should be approached differently. She also touched on the nature vs. nurture topic. I do not homeschool and I have two girls. However, as I began writing what was turning into an epic comment, I decided to explore the topic in more depth here.

As far as nature vs nurture goes, it really isn't one or the other. Our personalities are necessarily a reflection of both our genetics and our experiences. Thanks to our genes, we are predisposed to certain attributes, but due to different experiences, those attributes can manifest themselves in different ways.

For example, say two boys are born with a propensity to be stimulated by conflict, but they grow up in different households with different experiences. Their respective experiences lead one to join the debate team  while the other makes a habit of getting into scuffles with his peers. They both enjoy the same rush, but one has learned to fulfill his need by engaging in socially appropriate behaviors.

Now, lets relate this to gender differences, but rather than viewing boys and girls as a dichotomy, try thinking about them as being opposite ends of a continuum. We hear about some boys being "all boy" and some girls being "all girl," but we also know of plenty of children who would not fall into either of those. 

I believe this is where genetics comes in. Some children are just born more energized than others--->enter stereotyping--->in boys this energy is viewed as rowdiness. A lot of it has to do with perspective (and, of course, everything is relative), although I do believe that boys tend to have a higher energy level than girls. This is where nurture comes into play.

It's up to us, as parents, to instill in our children the understanding that there is a time and a place for everything. School isn't supposed to just be about academics. In addition to the reading, writing, and arithmetic, kids learn a great deal about social expectations.

When my daughters enter school, I expect them to respect their teachers and fellow classmates by not goofing around. I expect them to exercise self control by waiting until they are out of the classroom to run around. And, I expect them to know that they ultimately bear the responsibilities of their actions.

Children need to be provided with plenty of opportunities to get their wiggles out, but don't they also need to learn the importance of complying with social expectations and finding socially acceptable outlets for their various needs?

***I do not have school-aged children, and I don't have boys. My perspective is based solely on my understanding of human behavior and my views on personal responsibility.